Something To Remember Me By


Illustration by Lakyn Barton

You can pass me up,
It doesn’t matter either way,
Although it may be tempting to jump into the fray,
Please spare me what I don’t want to hear,
For I promise you there’s nothing to fear,
I haven’t anything to hide,
Not when you’re at my side,
And yet I feel broken,
I’m not here to be your token.

A gentle stream may be flowing downward,
But don’t think that these drops are for you,
They arrived long before you began to misconstrue.

I always said that I would be there,
Said there would never be anything to give you a scare,
I allowed myself to falter,
Now I can manage nothing but a stammer,
In my hands I had your trust,
Even so, I’ve done what I must,
I can’t ask you to understand that,
Just believe me when I say that, “this is where head’s at.”

There’s not much left for us to do,
And so it has to be the case,
That we’re both looking to go our separate ways.

After all that we’ve been through,
I’d wish that I’d left you with more than a gushing wound,
It seems you can’t make a sound,
All that exists between us is a void,
Serving to remind us of the growing space we can’t seem to avoid,
Looking at you only evokes memories of what we built,
Only to crumble into rubble ridden by my guilt.

You look at me as if I’m a different person,
Please, just take your hand off the alarm,
I promise that I mean you no harm.

What we shared was something that I’ll always cherish,
Even if I seemingly allowed it to perish,
Through my fingers I let it slip away,
With this I started to decay,
Piece by piece you took me with you,
What we had was no longer true.

From time to time I’ll reflect on what was,
Occasionally I’ll stop to think by hitting pause,
Alas, all I see now are our flaws.

I know you’ll never understand why I did what I did,
In essence it all seems rather unfair,
There’s no use to compare,
We weren’t like others,
But I guess that’s the same with all lovers.

It’s not my intention to be an anchor,
Never would I want to drag you down,
I just can’t seem to help but drown.

All that I’ve done is torture you bare to the bone,
There’s just no other way to tell you that I need to be on my own,
I’m sorry if you think I was a mistake,
This just had to be a clean break.

As I let out one last sigh,
I hope that this gets to you,
It’ll be something to remember me by.