On Carrie

By Alexis Castrogiovanni

 

 

You’re bleeding, and something’s burning on the stove

She’s got something that glows in the dark

Carrie, you’ve never looked more beautiful

Than when you sang out the word ‘sorry’

On that stage from the pit of your stomach

Some words are not born of tongues and teeth

A queen shining in someone else’s blood

You are the omega and the alpha,

Singing delta in the fluorescent light

 

You couldn’t have known the way the world turns to look

Each time a girl grows old

She’s sucking back smoke and semen

Like a vacuum by the time she’s twenty

When you reach that final mile

It’s nothing but body fluids and breast milk

 

Forget your finery at home

Leave your dresses on the tiles in the bathroom

In front of the mirror you once called friend

Fill the bathtubs with perfume and flower petals

There is nothing in this world for the glory-filled

For the gory child who grows into a vessel to float on the top of the water

Until there’s nothing left to do but to fill her with time and with salt

 

And everything before this was an instrumental track

Was a losing battle

Though you returned each night unscathed

Until the moment your legs were no help

Crossed or otherwise

Clean your face, or leave the stains Carrie

We won’t cry.

We are like you.

 

And small broken bird,

Gentle gleaming gem,

You are no euphemism

You can tell the poets to fuck themselves for the fallacy

The truth is scary,

But Carrie,

You can’t wear that white gown like you don’t know the difference

Between a virgin and a bride.

 

In some doorways, in some cities

In countries you’ve never been to,

You can see the mourning family

Dresses all in white