Bloody Knife, Yusuf Kidwai
CAT WOMAN: Hey!
WAITING WOMAN: I’ve been here for 15 minutes.
CAT WOMAN: Shit, sorry. My cat brought a live bird into my basement. It was flying into the windows and I spent the last half hour trying to deal with it.
WAITING WOMAN: What did you do?
CAT WOMAN: Chased it down with a fly swatter.
WAITING WOMAN: Are you serious?
CAT WOMAN: [Laughs] Yeah.
WAITING WOMAN: A fly swatter? That’s fucked.
CAT WOMAN: What else was I supposed to do? It was flying around my basement. It could have shit on my sofa!
WAITING WOMAN: So it wasn’t hurt?
CAT WOMAN: Well it probably would have been eventually… It kept flying headfirst into the windowpane.
WAITING WOMAN: Did you kill it?
CAT WOMAN: What? No! Of course not!
WAITING WOMAN: So what did you do?
CAT WOMAN: I knocked it out, put it in a bag and dumped it on the patio for the cats.
WAITING WOMAN: You did that?
CAT WOMAN: It could have shit on the carpet!
WAITING WOMAN: [Stares confusedly, turns to waitress] I’ll take my lunch to go, thanks.