Knocked Up

Body, Yusuf Kidwai

I never thought it would happen to me. It took my girlfriends, at the time, to convince me to take a test because I was in denial. My instincts were right, and now I’m sitting on a toilet seat staring at the positive sign.

What did I get myself into?

I’m sure this day has run through every girl’s mind since she first started having sex. For me, keeping the baby was definitely not an option. I wasn’t ready to have a baby, nor did I want one. The day I found out an egg was growing in my stomach, I felt I had to act fast. It was the strangest feeling knowing I had been walking around with a mini-me inside me for almost five weeks. I couldn’t waste any time, I only had 24 hours to do my research before my appointment.

A seventeen-year-old-girl, five weeks pregnant with her unofficial boyfriend for over a year. Whether I keep it or kill it, in society’s eyes, I’m still a slut. You just can’t win. I had to let go of the past and forget about right now, my decision will affect my future and I had to choose the best for me. When you’re forced to grow up and make “adult” decisions, there is no right or wrong. The only person that matters at this moment is you.

Teen pregnancy is more common than you may think. According to Statistics Canada, an estimated 19,724 women aged 15-19 gave birth in 1997. Even more had an abortion. About 50% of pregnant teens chose to have an abortion in 2006.

To keep a baby or not deserves deep consideration. Every woman is in control of her own body, and should be able to make the choice of whether or not she is ready to take on motherhood. An unwanted baby is not a smart path to embark on, it’s not fair to the baby and it’s certainly not fair to you.

My reasoning for terminating my baby came down to this. I wasn’t at that point in my life where conceiving an angel was my next step. Financially, I already had enough to pay for and there was no way of hiding another member of the family from my parents. It wasn’t logical. How could I take on the role as a mother with an unstable teenage boyfriend and hectic lifestyle?

I walked into the clinic with my heart about to fall out of my ass and left with a whole new perspective on life and myself. How amazed I was to see the many faces of girls and women sitting in the same room, waiting to undergo the same procedure, to solve the same problem, because of the same mistake. Protection people; remember, no glove, no love.

Clinics that perform abortions are extremely private and secretive to ensure client privacy. My supervisor tried booking the appointment for me but only I could do it. Only I was given directions to the exact location; a random building that you’d never look at twice. There were no visible signs indicating a clinic for abortions and an intercom was placed at the door to ensure secure entry.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes before choosing a side. Mistakes happen and people have to deal with the consequences. The beauty of dealing with reality is that you learn something new everyday.

Abortion isn’t always the solution to your pregnancy; there are many alternatives such as live birth or adoption. It should be based on what is right for you. Make sure you know what you are getting into and are 100% positive about your final decision. Teen pregnancy is a subject that should be brought up more often. Girls need to be educated or else they end up stuck making a snap decision for a situation they can’t run away from. You don’t want to regret the gift your body has created or the decision you have made.

Abortion is not a simple painless procedure. My anxiety got the best of me, and I was already in tears as soon as I saw the needle. I was too stoned to concentrate but the excruciating pain intensified. It was almost like a prolonged, exaggerated, cramp. Whoever said this was an easy way out probably didn’t get pregnant. I refuse to go through the process a second time.

After everything I went through, I was left wondering what if? What if I had chosen to keep it instead, what would my life be like? What if the procedure affects my ability to have babies in the future? These are consequences I’ll have to deal with and I can only hope for the best.

Mentally, I was torn. I still think about it. But, I don’t regret the way I handled the situation. What I gained out of this experience was maturity and strength. Now I have entered the world of adulthood and it only gets harder from here on out. I live my life knowing I had killed the first child I could ever have and worry if it’ll ever happen again but, life isn’t fair and yes, it can happen to you.

October 21, 2009 Blueprint Web Administrator No Comments

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