R+N Fan, Dan Lynn
So, I’m sitting in a room, okay, and I’m watching bits and pieces, all these people, coming and going, starting and stopping, watching them. I see these birds, you know, the kind of birds that just swoop, that seem to swoop, that seem to swoop all day, diving for nothing but the sake of flying and soaring around. I see these trees, like these BIG TREES, growing up from these concrete blocks people walk along and I can see this because there’s a window, a huge pane of glass that seems to hide nothing from this view. Anyway, I’m sitting on this chair, in the midst of all of these other chairs that we scattered around and everything happens and is happening around me.
I watch people, excited, trying to impress and all I am is what I see. And all I see is water, flowing, rising tides and currents, splashing, flipping, lapping around me as though I am not there but am a part of it, with it, ebbing and flowing too. All of a sudden, as I fold back memories and glance through the pane of glass further into the the street, I realise that everyone around me is my mother.
I’ve been surrounded, as of late, by mothers.
Yesterday, I found a picture.
It was in a National Geographic from 1975.
A woman was driving a tractor.
There is a baby, presumably.
The woman is the mother.
And the baby is in her arms.
The baby is drinking from its mother.
And she drives on.
Immune systems are ours.
They come directly from our mothers.
We share our blood with our mothers.
That could be why.
But, do you know what this could mean?
We are connected.
Our blood is our mothers’.
Our blood is therefore grandma’s too.
And our great grand mother.
And hers too.
The first ever human mother gave her blood to her child.
And her child passed it on to their child.
And eventually, that blood was our mothers’.
Which is now ours.
Sometimes the world is so beautiful I get goosebumps. And suddenly I realize, as an ambulance drives by, that there is no pane of glass in front of me and that we are all ambulance drivers and that there isn’t really an ambulance going by but a moose and I’m in the woods. Do you ever get that feeling that you know exactly where you are and the location keeps changing, kind of like a slide show – you know, the kind they used to show you in grade school to try to get you to believe what they are sharing with you – a slide show going through your mind showing you pages of places you’ve never been but dream of going, places you’ve been, feelings, sensations, yes! An entire slideshow of sensations of goose pimply love that washes over you? Everything is cinnamon, you know, everything is love, your grandmother is love, your mother is love, and you too are love – nothing is seperate, you are love and love is you. Sometimes the world is so beautiful I get goosebumps. And suddenly, I find myself not in a room at all, but standing at a door, to the heart of earth, knowing I am home.