Now Is The Time
Now is the time I’m going to get straight A’s. It’s time I pick up that book and read it. It’s time to look for a job, begin graduate applications, meet with the prof, go to the bank, volunteer somewhere – anywhere! – take out the garbage…all before I graduate.
Almost four years of student life have gone by., and what do I have to show for it? I wish I could say that I accomplished all my ambitious dreams and wild goals. I wish I could go down the mental checklist that I formed in first year – when everything was so open, and life was laid out in front of me – and check off the various clubs in which I had envisioned participating, and the awards I figured I would attain. After all, in fist year, I knew that I had the newxt four years to do these things, and to acquire phenomenal fame in the mean time.
So then, why did I leave all of this until the last possible minute of my university career?
Is it just me, or does it seem that time is perpetually running out? We encounter deadlines for everything in our lives. It often feels that life itself is one unnerving deadline, leering over us, waiting for us to make a move. To work, ot to go on to grad school? As our undergraduate lives keep spinning, we get closer and closer to our “futures”.
But why are we in such a hurry to get there? I often wonder why everything in my life in on a time line – for me, I fear straying from this pursuit, getting lost in a sea if the unknown and indefinite. In fact, sometimes I get so caught up in my goals that I forget to enjoy every movement; instead of feeling each day and immersing in every small pleasure, I look at my watch to see where I need to be next. And usually, the next location is the place that is going to help me ensure my future goals. I always have to go to another class, study for another test, or go to my part time jov that pays for it all.
I envy those who do truly soak it all in – the people who take risks and meander through life grabbing every opportunity. These people don’t even need a watch at all. They just seem to go wherever life takes them. They can be late; they can take years to get where they are going.
I often wish I could be one of those people – that I could travel and wander through life too. But then reality catches us to me and I realize what my problem is: I just worry that if I don’t keep track of the time, I’m going to be late for my own future.