Noam Chomsky and Friends Crush Children’s Hopes, Dreams

Dear Ideologue,
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in Blueprint, it is so.” lease tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O’Hanlon

Dear Virginia,
Jolly old Saint Nick is, as a construct at least, a ‘necessary illusion’ that Western society, and indeed, the state as it is currently constituted in America, must maintain in order to sustain the (false) nation that we live in a meritocratic society where individuals are rewarded for ‘being good’ and punished for ‘being bad’. If you work hard, you’ll be successful and reap enormous rewards on Christmas morning; ne’er-do-wells will receive only coal.

Also, this regime applies to everyone equally – rich little boys and girls as well as the poor – and so teaches children that society is essentially classless despite the fact that in the real world there is preferential treatment for some and harsh market discipline for others.

Children are encouraged to accept, and even welcome, an Orwellian figure who sees them when they’re sleeping, knows when they’ve been bad or good, and so forth, and so as adults they will be less critical of an intrusive, dictatorial state which does the same. Of course, this type of analysis is excluded from mainstream discourse.

So no, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus. Any 8-year-old in a society with any commitment at all to education would know that.
Noam

Dear Virginia,
I concur with Professor Chomsky’s analysis. Humbug.
Scrooge

Dear Virginia,
Believe in Santa if you want, but I’ll still steal your shit.
The Grinch

Dear Ideologue,
How does Santa deliver all of those presents in one night?
Derek Johnson

Dear Derek,
It is a popular misconception in Western society that Santa delivers all of our Christmas presents in one night. So how does mainstream belief hold up against the facts? To deliver presents to the 273 million homes here in the US would likely take at least 20 million person-hours of work. That one man could do this in a single night is simply beyond the realm of possibility.

Of course, it is not in the interest of the powers-that-be for the populace to realize that the delivery of all these gifts relies on the oppression of a second-class citizenry who do not share equal rights with the privileged class receiving these gifts. I am referring, of course, to the Elves. The United states has a long history of condoning the use of slavery, and the case of the Elves in the North Pole is no exception. In fact, throughout the 1980s, the CIA was directly responsible for funding paramilitaries, as they did in Nicaragua, in order to overthrow the democratically elected anti-Santanista movement. This was necessary in order to the continued floew of chap, plentiful gifts from the Santanista regime.

It should be clear that it’s not in the interests of big businesses, who control the images we receive about the North Pole in the mass media, to portray one of our major holiday figures as a fascist dictator. Formation of this conclusion in the public mind has been prevented through a systematic propaganda campaign designed to maintain the favoured narrative; namely, that elves are joyful creature, that Santa is jolly and good-natured, that our gifts are manufactured with consent. Sadly, this is not the case.
Noam

Dear Derek,
What did those accursed Elves ever contribute to our society? Bunch of filthy beggars if you ask me.
Scrooge

Dear Derek,
Noam has articulated what have always been my main criticisms of Whoville. But my arguments have been constantly marginalized by the mainstream media.
The Grinch

March 11, 2005 Blueprint Web Administrator No Comments